Saturday, February 11, 2012

"The Right Dose"...Jessica's Journey, February 11th

The number of things that a mom does each day really could qualify as a degree in a number of different things; pharmacist, chef, teacher, police officer, taxi driver, maid...the list really is never ending.  

All these different roles that we have as moms can lead us to forgetting one of the most important things...taking care of ourselves.

A few years ago I was unhappy.  I was so overweight and I just felt miserable.  I didn't want to see a picture of myself, be in a picture or go by a mirror.  I had zero energy for my kids and family which meant that I had zero energy for doing anything that I wanted to do.  I ate horrible things, put horrible stuff in my body on a regular basis and never made time to try to make myself better.  I was 60+ pounds of pure fat heavier than I am now.  My BMI was way above what it should have been.  I just felt gross and yucky.

Until one day...

Somewhere deep inside of me I wanted to change.  I think the words "you may need a hip replacement" was ringing in my ears and somewhere sparked the desire to see things differently.  I didn't want to accept that this was the outcome for me.  I didn't want to go down the path of needing parts of my body replaced when I was still in my early 30's.  Why were the doctors telling me all of this and yet not telling me what was so obvious...that I needed to lose weight?

Now I love the gym.  I love being able to get a workout in before my family wakes up and before my work starts for the day.  I have to think of this as a second job though.  I am learning that the right dose of the gym is 5 to 6 times a week with at least an hour or more of working out that includes heavy weights, intervals, and some cardio.  If I don't have a priority on this I know that I will one day hear those words "hip replacement" again.  I know that if I don't change the behavior that my BMI will again be very high and in an unhealthy zone.

The right dose of food is something that I struggle with constantly.  Why oh why do we have to have restaurants, yummy chocolate things that are so delicious and companies that make processed foods?  I am trying to eat more fruits and vegetables and am learning to like more and more.  I am working on swapping out some foods for others but still have those moments where I would just love to go eat some ice cream or brownies.  I have started writing on the side of the blog foods that I am learning to love.  2 years ago I don't think I was eating any of these foods.  Before I was eating bags of potato chips, now I will eat Greek yogurt.  I detested the word and thought of salad.  Now I try to sneak in spinach in various places...even in the pizza sauce that we made last night!  

Taking care of myself is a struggle at times but I am learning what my body needs, have seen a lot of changes and am still learning what I need to do and when.  

At the moment I am in the middle of the biggest asthma attacks that I have had since October.  Yesterday was a very rough day.  Today is better but has the possibility of taking that corner and becoming a horrible day.  I am constantly trying to figure out the right dose of medicine that I should take for this breath taking illness and am trying to find non-medicated ways to help with this illness too.  On days like today this is what I pump into my body just so I can take in a breath that many people don't even realize that they are taking:
  • inhaler at least every 4 hours (my body knows when that 4 hours is almost up.  I am able to take just shallow breaths and am coughing a lot by the end of that 4 hours)
  • steroid inhaler before I go to bed
  • Singulair before I go to bed
  • this little pearls that I swallow every few hours throughout the day to help keep the coughing a minimum. These can make me dizzy though so during the work week I only take them at night.  On weekends...I have them several times throughout the day.
  • warm drinks & soft foods for my throat.  During these wonderful attacks my throat gets really irritated from all of the coughing.
  • water, water, water
  • rest...meaning I don't get to go to the gym until I can talk without coughing again.  
Today I have my pharmacist hat on and my mom hat has been put to the side.  There are a lot of mom duties that I should be doing on a Saturday but I have to rest and just lay down as much as possible while I can and keep my talking to a minimum.  I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I didn't get to go lift weights this morning but the thought is in my head constantly today.  Two days now in a row that I wasn't able to go.  

The right dose of everything that we need in life takes trial and error.  Today is a trial and error day.  If I keep on doing the right dosages of medicine, the right amount of talking, the right amount of rest...I should be back to the right dose of exercising soon.

No comments: