All these different roles that we have as moms can lead us to forgetting one of the most important things...taking care of ourselves.
A few years ago I was unhappy. I was so overweight and I just felt miserable. I didn't want to see a picture of myself, be in a picture or go by a mirror. I had zero energy for my kids and family which meant that I had zero energy for doing anything that I wanted to do. I ate horrible things, put horrible stuff in my body on a regular basis and never made time to try to make myself better. I was 60+ pounds of pure fat heavier than I am now. My BMI was way above what it should have been. I just felt gross and yucky.
Until one day...
Somewhere deep inside of me I wanted to change. I think the words "you may need a hip replacement" was ringing in my ears and somewhere sparked the desire to see things differently. I didn't want to accept that this was the outcome for me. I didn't want to go down the path of needing parts of my body replaced when I was still in my early 30's. Why were the doctors telling me all of this and yet not telling me what was so obvious...that I needed to lose weight?
Now I love the gym. I love being able to get a workout in before my family wakes up and before my work starts for the day. I have to think of this as a second job though. I am learning that the right dose of the gym is 5 to 6 times a week with at least an hour or more of working out that includes heavy weights, intervals, and some cardio. If I don't have a priority on this I know that I will one day hear those words "hip replacement" again. I know that if I don't change the behavior that my BMI will again be very high and in an unhealthy zone.
The right dose of food is something that I struggle with constantly. Why oh why do we have to have restaurants, yummy chocolate things that are so delicious and companies that make processed foods? I am trying to eat more fruits and vegetables and am learning to like more and more. I am working on swapping out some foods for others but still have those moments where I would just love to go eat some ice cream or brownies. I have started writing on the side of the blog foods that I am learning to love. 2 years ago I don't think I was eating any of these foods. Before I was eating bags of potato chips, now I will eat Greek yogurt. I detested the word and thought of salad. Now I try to sneak in spinach in various places...even in the pizza sauce that we made last night!
Taking care of myself is a struggle at times but I am learning what my body needs, have seen a lot of changes and am still learning what I need to do and when.
At the moment I am in the middle of the biggest asthma attacks that I have had since October. Yesterday was a very rough day. Today is better but has the possibility of taking that corner and becoming a horrible day. I am constantly trying to figure out the right dose of medicine that I should take for this breath taking illness and am trying to find non-medicated ways to help with this illness too. On days like today this is what I pump into my body just so I can take in a breath that many people don't even realize that they are taking:
- inhaler at least every 4 hours (my body knows when that 4 hours is almost up. I am able to take just shallow breaths and am coughing a lot by the end of that 4 hours)
- steroid inhaler before I go to bed
- Singulair before I go to bed
- this little pearls that I swallow every few hours throughout the day to help keep the coughing a minimum. These can make me dizzy though so during the work week I only take them at night. On weekends...I have them several times throughout the day.
- warm drinks & soft foods for my throat. During these wonderful attacks my throat gets really irritated from all of the coughing.
- water, water, water
- rest...meaning I don't get to go to the gym until I can talk without coughing again.
Today I have my pharmacist hat on and my mom hat has been put to the side. There are a lot of mom duties that I should be doing on a Saturday but I have to rest and just lay down as much as possible while I can and keep my talking to a minimum. I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I didn't get to go lift weights this morning but the thought is in my head constantly today. Two days now in a row that I wasn't able to go.
The right dose of everything that we need in life takes trial and error. Today is a trial and error day. If I keep on doing the right dosages of medicine, the right amount of talking, the right amount of rest...I should be back to the right dose of exercising soon.