"The Right Dose"...Jessica's Journey, February 11th

The number of things that a mom does each day really could qualify as a degree in a number of different things; pharmacist, chef, teacher, police officer, taxi driver, maid...the list really is never ending.  

All these different roles that we have as moms can lead us to forgetting one of the most important things...taking care of ourselves.

A few years ago I was unhappy.  I was so overweight and I just felt miserable.  I didn't want to see a picture of myself, be in a picture or go by a mirror.  I had zero energy for my kids and family which meant that I had zero energy for doing anything that I wanted to do.  I ate horrible things, put horrible stuff in my body on a regular basis and never made time to try to make myself better.  I was 60+ pounds of pure fat heavier than I am now.  My BMI was way above what it should have been.  I just felt gross and yucky.

Until one day...

Somewhere deep inside of me I wanted to change.  I think the words "you may need a hip replacement" was ringing in my ears and somewhere sparked the desire to see things differently.  I didn't want to accept that this was the outcome for me.  I didn't want to go down the path of needing parts of my body replaced when I was still in my early 30's.  Why were the doctors telling me all of this and yet not telling me what was so obvious...that I needed to lose weight?

Now I love the gym.  I love being able to get a workout in before my family wakes up and before my work starts for the day.  I have to think of this as a second job though.  I am learning that the right dose of the gym is 5 to 6 times a week with at least an hour or more of working out that includes heavy weights, intervals, and some cardio.  If I don't have a priority on this I know that I will one day hear those words "hip replacement" again.  I know that if I don't change the behavior that my BMI will again be very high and in an unhealthy zone.

The right dose of food is something that I struggle with constantly.  Why oh why do we have to have restaurants, yummy chocolate things that are so delicious and companies that make processed foods?  I am trying to eat more fruits and vegetables and am learning to like more and more.  I am working on swapping out some foods for others but still have those moments where I would just love to go eat some ice cream or brownies.  I have started writing on the side of the blog foods that I am learning to love.  2 years ago I don't think I was eating any of these foods.  Before I was eating bags of potato chips, now I will eat Greek yogurt.  I detested the word and thought of salad.  Now I try to sneak in spinach in various places...even in the pizza sauce that we made last night!  

Taking care of myself is a struggle at times but I am learning what my body needs, have seen a lot of changes and am still learning what I need to do and when.  

At the moment I am in the middle of the biggest asthma attacks that I have had since October.  Yesterday was a very rough day.  Today is better but has the possibility of taking that corner and becoming a horrible day.  I am constantly trying to figure out the right dose of medicine that I should take for this breath taking illness and am trying to find non-medicated ways to help with this illness too.  On days like today this is what I pump into my body just so I can take in a breath that many people don't even realize that they are taking:

• inhaler at least every 4 hours (my body knows when that 4 hours is almost up.  I am able to take just shallow breaths and am coughing a lot by the end of that 4 hours)
• steroid inhaler before I go to bed
• Singulair before I go to bed
• this little pearls that I swallow every few hours throughout the day to help keep the coughing a minimum. These can make me dizzy though so during the work week I only take them at night.  On weekends...I have them several times throughout the day.
• warm drinks & soft foods for my throat.  During these wonderful attacks my throat gets really irritated from all of the coughing.
• water, water, water
• rest...meaning I don't get to go to the gym until I can talk without coughing again.  

Today I have my pharmacist hat on and my mom hat has been put to the side.  There are a lot of mom duties that I should be doing on a Saturday but I have to rest and just lay down as much as possible while I can and keep my talking to a minimum.  I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I didn't get to go lift weights this morning but the thought is in my head constantly today.  Two days now in a row that I wasn't able to go.  

The right dose of everything that we need in life takes trial and error.  Today is a trial and error day.  If I keep on doing the right dosages of medicine, the right amount of talking, the right amount of rest...I should be back to the right dose of exercising soon.

Jessica's Journey...November 28th

Waiting in line at Target pharmacy tonight.
10 people in front of me waiting to drop off a prescription.
A handful of other people waiting to pick up what they needed.

20 minutes later I have a prescription for Quinn.
The pharmacist asks if I have any questions.
Yes...I do.
Will Quinn have a reaction to this medicine because the last time he was sick we found out that he is allergic to certain medicines?  The way we found out was not very fun and led to about a week of me not getting more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time.  This was way worse than having an infant and trying to live through those sleepless nights.  There was no sleep.
Guess what the pharmacist said.  He has a 10% chance that he will have a reaction.
Eventhough it is just 10%, it sounds like 90% to me.
The reason is because I don't want Quinn to look like this again...

This picture was from the start of his reaction from his medicine.  At the end, he was covered in bruises and was basically one big, red spot.  And everything that was red was itchy.

So why is it that some of our bodies react one way and others react another way?  How come I could eat fast food every day in a week (which I don't) and then most likely gain 20 pounds and yet my neighbor who does eat fast food every day stays the same size 2 that she always is?

Why are our bodies all so different anyways?  

The Fit Female Credo by Rachel Cosgrove says, "put an end to body bashing and instead celebrate your strengths."  You can view her website here.

I think that body bashing has become the norm for a lot of woman.  Don't you agree?  I know that I'm not supposed to body bash but in today's society and with everything that is around us from the media I'm just not sure how realistic this is.  I'm not saying that I am giving up or that I'm trying to change the program or plan.  I am just trying to be real.  Is there a woman out there that doesn't ever compare herself to another woman or look at an ad or celebrity and wonder how she could get that smaller waist or better ____________ (just pick a body part)?  

How can we women get out of that funk?  Maybe list some positive things that we can focus on...like our strengths?

Instead of me saying what my strengths are I decided to enlist my hubby in on this blog post.  So, here is the list he gave me of my 10 current strengths (I have edited them and eliminated a few that were given from the male point of view):

• generally a positive attitude (like that generally...funny, huh?)
• supportive mother
• works hard
• frugal (he doesn't know that I did a little bit of Cyber Monday shopping...shhh)
• health conscious
• creative
• great fingernails (this is a joke...I don't paint my fingernails because then they look fake)
• nice smile
• concerned about others 
• Christian
• and the 11th...he said that I look good too

Now you need to go ask someone what your strengths are.  Have them make a list of 10 things and put them on your fridge, stick it on your mirror or put it on your steering wheel...somewhere so you can see it everyday.  

Maybe if women start hearing what they are great at they will start believing that they are awesome people and will actually quit comparing themselves to others.  

Today's workout...well, I feel like crap.  I actually was feeling pretty good this morning.  I was energized, I got my breakfast and hit the road.  Then, I got to the gym.  It was at that moment when I pulled into the parking lot that I realized that I probably should have gone back to bed.  But, I was there.  I was going to get my workout done.  I finished without a minute to spare and then was just congested the rest of the day and just didn't feel the best.  I had a few moments where my asthma was going crazy too but I think that is calmed down for the moment as long as I keep working on it...hopefully.  Quinn also didn't feel good and had a fever of over 102.5 (it was still going when I pulled the thermometer out and got him some medicine).  

During the workout today I had some dead-lifts on my list of things to do (Jeff...I did day 1 today and day 2 yesterday).  Since the women's area doesn't have weights high enough I had to go out to the man area again.  I had no problems doing this today and I felt almost like I actually fit in there as I picked up my weights and stood in front of the mirror.  I did what I needed to do and then went back to the womens area to finish the rest.  I am feeling pretty confident now doing this exercise in this area of the gym.  Still working on getting the confidence in some other parts but it is coming.  I know that I never would have done this on my own.  It took someone to put this plan together and tell me to do this in order for me to accomplish this and gain the confidence that I needed.  

I will most likely be sleeping in a little bit in the morning.  I think that when I push myself too much when I am sick I just get worse.  I really am trying to listen to what my body is telling me and right now it is telling me to try to take a breath without coughing and go to sleep.  I really wanted to do spin in the morning.  If I am up and feeling good, I will go.  If I don't get up or I don't feel good, I will be in bed.  (Sorry, Melissa...I'll come Thursday if I'm feeling good enough!).