Thursday, December 20, 2012

That uneasy feeling

Do you ever get that feeling that there is just something more that you should be doing...or something different?

At the moment I feel like there is this thing I should be doing.  This isn't the thought that I forgot to do something or need to remember to start the dishwasher...more of the thought that something is out there waiting for me to do it.  My mind just has this blank though on what it is...I can't fill it in.  I don't know if that is because I haven't learned about it yet, haven't thought of it yet or the time just isn't right yet.

What I do know is this...I am uneasy.

I had this uneasy feeling oh...about 10 years ago as I sat in a MOPS conference in either Nashville or Texas.  These three teenage girls that I didn't know came up on stage in front of thousands of women and told their story of being a teen mom.  I knew in the pit of my stomach that I needed to do something affiliated with these girls.  Because I didn't listen to what I was called to do I did nothing.

God has a funny way of making us listen though.

A year later, almost exactly, I was sitting in another MOPS Conference in either Texas or Nashville.  Teen MOPS was once again presented at the conference and talked about.  This was a new thing...unchartered waters basically.  You could count on one hand how many Teen MOPS groups there were at the time.  At that conference not only did I get to listen and get that pit in my stomach again but I knew when I went that I would hear about this...and I was uneasy.  The concept was just so far out there.  How in the world could I help a teenage girl?  I was a 26 year old mom (maybe 27).  What could I even do?  Seriously.  I was pretty adamant about just listening and ignoring the gut feeling.

Someone had another plan and brought a person with me on this conference who would listen to that pit...without hesitation.  This person had experience with being a teen mom though so in my mind, as she told me, "we have to do this" the pieces of this puzzle were put together and it was now time to move forward.  The uneasy feeling in my stomach was still there but now I knew why.

Right now...I just am uneasy...and I don't know why.

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