Jessica's Journey...January 12th "Is it ok to indulge?"

Today is pretty much our first day of real, Minnesota weather.  We are in the negative numbers (with windchill) today...I am pretty sure that this is the first time this winter that we are in negative numbers.  

I came home from the gym, shoveled the sidewalk and driveway in this horrible weather and realized that my fingers were now freezing cold and that my hair was frozen since I didn't dry it all the way before I came home.  Stupid...stupid.  Now I felt like my body temperature was in those negative numbers too.

The big kids had to be out in this weather today and I felt bad that I wasn't able to drive them to school today.  Working moms...even those that work from home...don't always get to share in those simple pleasures as driving your kids to school and it breaks my heart at times.  It is too cold for kids to be standing on the corner waiting for their bus.  As a mom, I compromised with my feelings and tried to help them feel better and give them something to look forward to in their day...after they had been out in the windy, negative temps that we are dealing with today.  What did I do?  I promised them that I would make puppy chow.

All morning I knew in my head that if I made it I would eat it.  

I at least waited until this afternoon until I made it so I didn't have the temptation in the house all day.

While I had a bowl of puppy chow in my hand and was tasting the yummy, chocolate covered cereal I received an e-mail.  Here was the title, "Why Shouldn't I Indulge?" by Lysa TerKeurst.  Is that ironic or what?!?  Naturally I waited to read the e-mail until about an hour ago.  That's just my style.  :)

I thought I would share the content of the e-mail since it was so relevant to my life today.  

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14a (NIV)

God made you wonderful. Psalm 139 says so. You are beautiful and loved just the way you are, whether you’re a size zero or a size thirty. But, if your size is a struggle or a place of defeat, God loves you so much He doesn’t want you to stay there.

There was a time when I felt utterly defeated in the area of food and health. I knew I needed to make changes, but not because of the number on the scale or my clothing size. I knew it because of the battle that raged in my heart. I craved, I desired, I thought about, and arranged my life around food.

Yet I was a Bible teacher, a woman who loved Jesus. Why couldn’t I figure this out? I had found victory in so many areas of my life, but this area alluded me. I constantly asked, “Why shouldn’t I indulge?”

One day, I looked up the definition of the word indulge, which means to act in an unrestrained way. For me it was unrestrained eating. You see, eating in its proper context is not the problem. God gave us food for nourishment, strength and even celebration. The problem comes when pleasure is unrestrained.

I had to get honest enough to admit that I relied on food more than I relied on God. I craved food more than I craved God. Chocolate was my comfort and deliverer. Cookies were my reward. Salty chips were my joy. Food was what I turned to in times of stress and sadness ... even in times of happiness.

I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control. Really surrender. Surrender to the point where I’d make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health—perhaps even more than my physical health.

Part of my surrender was asking myself a really raw question. May I ask you this same question?

Is it possible we love and rely on food more that we love and rely on God?

Now before you turn your computer off, hear me out. This question is crucial.

We have to see the purpose of our struggle with food as something more than getting to wear smaller sizes and receive compliments. Shallow desires produce shallow efforts. These good things are nice, but not as appealing in the moment as a cinnamon roll, or those chips, or that brownie.

The process of getting healthy has to be about more than just losing weight and focusing on ourselves. It’s not about adjusting our diets and hoping for good physical results. It’s about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change for the right reasons: because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. And created to live in victory, not in defeat.

I discovered that pursuing a healthy eating plan for these very reasons was one of the most significant spiritual journeys I’d ever dared to take with God. Today, I invite you to journey with me.

Dear Lord, if I’m being honest with myself and You, I know sometimes I rely on food more than I rely on You. I want to recalibrate my soul and change for the right reasons. I want to see You in and through this entire process. Please be with me, Lord, each day. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Source

Today's Workout:  Spin!  Awesome class today.  The last few days I have been noticing that I have a lot of eye strain.  I took a nap tonight (now I'm not tired) to see if that would help at all and I have tried to stay off my laptop a lot today but it really is anything that I do, read, watch tv...look at something.  I've tried wearing my glasses more to see if that helps but it is just getting to the point where my eyes are being annoying.  I've tried drinking more today (water...people!) too to see if that would help.  So far it hasn't.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  After feeling like this today I did decide that Friday morning I will just be running and won't be doing any lifting...aka strength training.  We have our third and last Christmas for the year this weekend so we will be traveling for a few days.  Over the river (Mississippi) and through the woods (all of Wisconsin) to Grandma's (and Grandpa's) house we go!  Illinois, here we come.  As long as I am back to normal by Monday I will start phase 4 then.  My body might need these few days to rest up a bit.