Does the perfect family exist?

We have just over 20 days left until school starts up again for the 2012-2013 year.  The emotions in our house have started to escalate and the nerves seemed to arrive once we said "school supplies".

I had a great conversation with Sid the other day which I am pretty sure was because all these emotions and nerves started to emerge again.  We had sadness, tears and luckily laughter towards the end.

Without exposing specific families or friends that Sid has this is just the general theme of what our conversation was about:

• a friend that she wants to be friends with because no one else is there for this girl.
• this "friend" (and I use that term loosely) has been moved many times.
• this girl has had many different schools and friends are hard to find.
• this child is at the school from 7:30am (or earlier) until 5:00pm or later.
• church is not something that this family does...in fact, this family is hardly together to do anything as a group

The end of our conversation was something like this:
"Mom, my friend doesn't ever get to be with her mom or dad.  Her dad works out of town and is gone for weeks at a time.  My friend has a lot of situations (which she later explained as...) liked having to go to SACC (school age child care) and she just doesn't have a lot of people in her life for her.  I want to be a friend to her because no one else is."

Let's just say that after this conversation I was glad that I am home with the kids.  I am working, but I am home.  I may not be with them all day during the school year BUT I am at the door watching for them when they come off the bus, I am here if they have to stay home because they don't feel good and I am here the majority of the evenings.  This year I also get to help with the group that Sid is part of in AHG and I am thrilled to be doing that with her and be part of that group.  

We finished our conversation by making some rules and goals for this friendship.  To put it simply, I don't care for this friendship.  It really isn't a positive relationship for Sid.  But, if Sid wants to try to be a positive person for this "friend" I honestly can't stop her unless I pull her out of school and homeschool.  (that's not happening) Our family stresses that we need to be helping others...be a friend to others because that is what God wants us to do.  I can't stop her from doing what we have been telling her these last 11 years.  If I don't let Sid figure out these things on her own now and stop interjecting in every possible situation that she is going to have she won't grow up with the tools that she needs to make it in this world as an adult (let's not even go to high school right now).  

Would this little girl have such a hard time at school if she had a more consistent family life?

Would there be more of a positive relationship with this "friend" if this child had more positive relationships in her own life?

What do I need to be showing and telling Sid (and keeping tabs on) in order to make sure that she stays positive as she handles this friendship throughout the year?

...tough questions for a mom and a 10 year old.

We are seeing a lot of families that are close to us that are making some tough decisions in their lives.  Some of these decisions that are being made do impact our family in some way, others though I just see as making a huge impact in the child's life as they are learning what is important and what isn't.  I can see the full picture of what is going to happen with these kids...but how do you tell a friend that the choice they are making may not truly be the best for their child?  Every family has different priorities, I understand that.  Unfortunately we are going to have some kids that will be lacking some parental control or even precious parent/child time if our society continues to put some activities ahead of other important aspects of childhood.  

This article, "Parents why are you pushing your kids", came across Facebook quite a bit ago and really is a great indicator of what I am seeing with families right now.  I hear parents complaining how they have to travel here for this away game, another town for some tournament each weekend and how much everything costs...at times I'm not sure why they are doing it if they are complaining so much about the cost and not being home enough.  Unfortunately, those aren't the only costs associated with some extracurricular activities for kids.  Teachers, I am guessing you can figure out what some of those other costs might be.

The idea of a perfect family, that is pretty out there isn't it?  I know that our family is a long way from being perfect but our goal isn't to be perfect.  Our goal is pretty simple: be a family.

My Summer Lifesaver

I was going insane.  Seriously.  No joke.

Summer was here.

My kids were at each others' throats.  My kiddos were being lazy, grumpy and just plain...unthankful.  At the same time, our house was going to the pits.  With the kids all home they were making more messes, demanding more of my time and as a result nothing in our house was getting done.

The stress level increased which led to more fighting, arguing and messes.

I was on a few different sites and saw that a lot of other moms were turning to chore charts.  (Thanks to those moms out there who put their info out on Facebook and their blogs.  So helpful and truly a lifesaver!)

I didn't think it was necessary but after having about 4 days of laundry sitting on our couch because there was no time to fold it...I saw it was time for our family to apply this chore system in our family.

Disclaimer...my kids do a lot of work in the house already and I was already proud of what they were accomplishing.  As my daughter said, "we just needed something to help us stay on task".  Couldn't have said it better, Sid!  (Sid loves lists so chore charts just give her fuzzy feelings inside anyways.)

So...what do we do?
Here is a list of what my 10 year old does each day.

· Make bed

· Brush teeth

· Put dirty clothes in laundry

· Pick up room

· Take shower

· Brush hair

· Help clean table and floor after each meal

· Empty the dishwasher and load

· Use manners with everyone

· Have joy today!

· Read for 30 minutes

· Fold clothes and put away

The kids also get one additional job each day that I pick.  I write it down on a sheet and by the end of the day they need to have it finished.  Today's chore...cleaning all of the baseboards in the house with soap and water.  The kids have already done the main floor of the house and did all of the cabinets too in the kitchen...and I didn't even ask them to do that.  

What are some other daily chores?  

• taking out the garbage
• taking care of recycling
• washing the bathroom sinks
• cleaning the toilets (Sid is awesome at this task!)
• vacuuming
• ...and some that are a little bit easier for Quinn (he's 4 and loves to help but can't do the heavy stuff yet)

How are the kids rewarded?  

We have a jewel system in our house.  Each jewel earned is worth 10 cents.  The kids can turn in these jewels at any time to get the money that they have earned or they can save it up and we will pay them interest at the end of each month.  We have used these jewels for the last year or so and the kids have earned the jewels for doing things without being asked.  I like knowing that my kids have learned what initiative is and this was a great way to start helping them learn how to accomplish these life skills.  If parents don't teach our kids these skills I'm pretty sure that they aren't going to learn them anywhere else.  

Now that we have chores added to our list of things to do each day the kids are rewarded with jewels based on the job that they did.  Did they go 100%, 80%, 50% or not even get some of the jobs done?  The number of jewels that they get reflect the job that they do.

The kids still show initiative as a whole...but now, they are doing it with enthusiasm!  At church, they hold the door open for people and actually race to the door to be able to do this.  At home, they start the day by knowing what it is that they have to do.  Usually they are starting their tasks as soon as they are done with breakfast.  I LOVE THIS!

Is my house ever going to be perfect?  Nope.  I run a day care and have three kids.  Perfect is not in our vocabulary at the Williams household.

Is my house cleaner now than 2 weeks ago?  Yes.

Are my kids fighting as much?  Nope.

Are my kids learning how to be responsible and learning to take pride in their work?  Absolutely.

Must 43% of Americans be obese by 2030?

Must 43% of Americans be obese by 2030?

Seriously?  43%!  We do realize that this number is pretty much close to half of our population.  Right?  I read an article today that states this fact.  The article is below for you to read too.

I know that my family didn't appreciate the healthier version of pizza that we had last night (the looks, comments and nibbles confirmed that) but this statistic is the exact reason why I made pizza with corn, tomatoes and black beans rather than the traditional pizza of hamburger, pepperoni and piles of cheese.  (you can find this here on Pinterest...I used the oven though...not the grill)

My kids will not be part of this statistic.  It is my job as their mom to make sure that what they are eating is a healthy choice.  What I make for them should be good for them, not make them become just another statistic.  By the way...the pizza was good and I finished it earlier today.

Healthy choices aren't just for me as I am working to get healthier.  Healthy choices have to be for everyone.  So...America...get out of that fast food lane that you are driving through.  Go to the grocery store, go to the outside areas of the store and get some fresh items and then make something with them.  Cooking isn't hard.  Changing your routine and developing some healthy habits is really the hard part.  Once you do it once, twice...7 times...you will not only realize that it isn't so hard but that you actually feel better eating good food rather than all that grease and fat.

Must 43% of Americans be obese by 2030?
By Leslie Barker Garcia
McClatchy-Tribune

By 2030, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention predicted last week, 43 percent of Americans will be obese. More than one-tenth will be at least 100 pounds overweight.

So are we going to order the cheese supreme and take this sitting down? Not if Armando Chavez has anything to say about it. He's fitness director for Larry North Fitness in Dallas's Preston Royal Village.

"I'm passionate about this," Chavez says of his determination to get people fit. He sends health and fitness tips to thousands via his Twitter and Facebook accounts, plus offers some ideas to help America defy the CDC prediction:

Lead by example. Today's kids will be the adults of 2030, so their moms and dads need to be eating healthily now. "If you try to feed your kid healthy food and you're eating fast food, then you just set the worst example possible," Chavez says. "If you set the correct example, your child won't crave such food."

Think of healthy food as the norm. Avoid calling it "bad food" or "good food." It's food, it's fresh, it's delicious, and it's what will make you healthy. As a parent, "don't tell your kids, 'This is bad,' because they'll want to try it," he says.

Skip diets that cut out categories of food. "All those crazy Slim-Fast, Atkins, South Beach diets don't work," Chavez says. "They don't work because they take out something your body needs. Low carb. High protein. No fat. They're good for the short-term but not the long-term.

Remember that working out needn't take hours. "Most people think you have to exercise for hours and hours to get fit," he says. "You can work out 30 minutes, and that would be sufficient, depending on your goal.

Be efficient in your routine. Instead of doing calf raises, which work only your calf muscles, or curls, which work only your biceps, aim for compound movements like a seated row, squats or lunges. "Using more muscles requires more energy, and with that, you lose body fat faster," he says.

Get the community involved. Fitness festivals are fine, but Chavez recommends more ongoing efforts. "We have to find ways to develop retention on a more massive scale," he says. Start small; meet a friend regularly for a walk or workout.

Emphasize the good taste of nutritious food more than that of processed food. "Show Americans healthy food choices and how to prepare them," he writes. "Show the benefits of how it will affect their own personal well-being."

Get athletes behind a healthy-eating campaign. Let kids know that fresh and nutritious food is part of being a good athlete, he says.

"Kids will think it's cool to eat certain healthy foods," Chavez says.

"That has never been done."


Source

Kids DIY Watering Can

I found this a few weeks ago on another site and now I can't seem to find the source.  This was not my original idea though but I wanted to share it because it is so simple, easy for kids to use and is made from something most people already have (and it is way cheaper than those fancy watering cans for kids in stores!).

First, find a milk jug and a lid.

Second, punch holes in the lid.  I have used a nail to make holes, which does seem to work the best.  I have also just used a corkscrew which makes smaller holes.

Third, fill up the container, put the lid on and let your kid water the plants!

When our summer is over we will just recycle them and start over with new ones next Spring.

Did you try this craft?  Any changes that you made to make this work better or even easier for kids to use?

Yummy Baked Oatmeal!

Pinterest really is a great place!  This week I am trying all sorts of fun recipes with our family and day care kids.   Some are just yummy, some are just cute and others are more practical and time saver options for me.
I did make one recipe though last week that was a hit with our family and the majority of our day care kids.  (we do have a few very picky eaters and those I know will just never be happy with what I make unless it is all chocolate or basically candy).  These were yummy and I actually finished them this morning before we walked out the door for church.

I can't put the recipe on here because of copyright issues but I did take a photo of what I made...maybe that will entice you enough to click on the following website to get the recipe for yourself.  Best part of the recipe is that there isn't sugar other than natural items...honey, banana, etc.

We used the following toppings on our latest batch:

• chocolate chips (kids love that one!)
• craisins
• raisins
• plain

Our next batch we are going to try some walnuts as a topping and maybe even some chunks of apples too.

To find the blog where I got this recipe...just click here.

If you try these let me know!  What toppings did you use? 

First boo boo of the summer

Screaming.

Crying.

Kids yelling at me to come quick.

The words, "he fell from the top" in the mix of all the screaming.

The reality is that the sounds were really a lot worse than what had happened.  The marks left on Quinn's body just go to show that, yes, he did fall from the tree house and, yes, he got a little banged up.

as you can tell from his expression...he is doing pretty good now.

I didn't see the blood at first but soon found it as I inspected Quinn (as instructed from all of my First Aid/CPR training...other than telling him who I was and asking if I could help him).  We later found the scratches and saw that his back was scratched a bit and bruised up.  He is a trooper though and calmed down really fast.  He did tell me that is brain got banged around.  The 4 year old translation of that = "I hit my head on the ground really hard and now have a headache".

He was really calm, that is...until he saw his face in the mirror when we went to clean him up.  His exact words were, "Look at my face!"  Sob, sob, sob.

Good thing out of all this...we didn't have to go to get him fixed up by a Dr.!  Just Dr. Mom.  :)

Mother's Day...um, fun?

Mother's Day.  A day totally devoted to moms.  We should have a day where we just don't have to do any of those parenting jobs, right?

My mothers day fun and not-so-fun overview:
Fun.  Shopping in Albertville with the fam!  I am not a huge shopper and don't usually spend much on myself.  This year though I needed some clothes that fit and I found them.  I found a lot actually but I held back.  (I'm still kicking myself for not buying that $360 regular priced Columbia coat for $60 though!)  The best part was...I got to buy a size smaller in jeans than what is currently in my closet and bought some great shirts that will fit nice and won't be like the baggy ones that I currently have that just don't fit right anymore.

More Fun.  We also went to a Twins game.  The expectation that the Twins would win was just not there since their record has been far from great this year.  A win was pulled out just for all the moms though...and we got a cool pink scarf.  I did miss the one home run because I was taking two of the kids to the bathroom and hunting all over the complex for the one item that they wanted to eat, which was of course the opposite direction of where we were sitting and we walked for what seemed like 20 minutes.

Not So Fun.  Quinn throwing up in the morning when he woke up on Saturday.  Quinn throwing up in the car on the way to Albertville on Saturday (we were prepared though!).  Quinn throwing up at Target Field.  At least he did that last one before the game started though so the bathrooms were all clean and I didn't have any squeamish feelings of him touching a public restroom floor.

Micah is running the bases.  Hard to tell but he is in a red hat and white shirt just leaving 2nd base.  Sid and Quinn are out there somewhere but I have no idea where.

And this is Quinn...after being sick.  We were at one of the stores in the stadium to buy a few trinkets when he was holding this ball and said that his tummy hurt.  I threw the ball at Sid and ran him out of the store.  Getting picked up for shoplifting may not have been a great way to spend Mother's Day.  :)

Bases loaded...other team is talking about what to do next.  I think they were shocked that the Twins were winning too!

At the visitors dug out after just running the bases.  Sid did have a Twins jersey on too but the guy sitting behind us spilled it on her...and didn't even say sorry.  Not sure who was more shocked that an adult didn't have manners, Chris or Sidney.

Spring Planting

Helping kids learn about seeds and how they grow is a great lesson!  Kids can get their hands dirty, see the start of the project and how the seed is very tiny, help the seeds grow by watering it and also watch as the seeds grow.

Supplies Needed:

• water bottle
• scissors
• grass seed
• dirt
• water

1)  Cut the water bottle in half.  Be sure to recycle the extra half!

2)  Let the kids shovel dirt into the bottom half of the water bottle.

3)  Fill up the lid of the water bottle about half or 3/4 of the way with grass seed.

4)  Let the kids plant their seeds.  We had some just dump the seeds in and others that put them in one at a time.

5)  Water the seeds.

Our seeds take 7 days to grow.  We not only talked about how plants grow and different signs of spring but also the number 7.  The kids helped clean up the mess and we also talked about recycling the part of the water bottle that we don't need anymore.

After our plants grow we will update this page with a picture of how it turned out.  We are planning on dressing up our containers with some burlap and easy decorations too that can be glued on.

Update 

Day 7:  Nothing.  (I didn't even show the kids...I didn't want them to be sad!)  However, our very warm temps in Minnesota for the month of March turned more towards normal temps and got back to the 30's and 40's most of the time.  I did have our containers outside and I brought them in on day 7 since they were probably too cold.  

Day 8:  1 piece of grass has started growing in one of the containers.  I showed the kids.  Not sure if they could really even see it.  :)

Day 9:  There is grass in every single container now.  It is growing!  It is still very small but I can see it.  Bringing it inside must have helped.  I have also been watering these every day with just some sprinkles of water and also put plastic sandwich bags over them to help keep that humidity level increased a little bit.

About 2 weeks later:  the kids will be trimming their grass!  Most of the grass has started to grow and we even have some that are very long and are growing out of their container.  We will be getting out the kid friendly scissors soon so the kids can trim their plants.

Birds are Building Nests...and how you can help!

Last year I found this great idea on how to help out the birds in the spring.  I am always looking for ways to get the kids involved with nature and helping out with different things that are hands on.  This was perfect!  The hardest part was having to wait until the birds would be back in the spring.

Yesterday on a walk I saw a robin!  I knew it was time.  I grabbed our supplies, got the kids together and we started talking about Spring!!!!!

Birds are starting to build their nests and helping them find those items that they might need is one way that we can help them.  If the items they use are colorful you can then also see their nests in the trees!

Here is how to make this craft:

• Find colored items that birds can use for their nests.  We used colored yarn and some string that is really bright in colors that is used to make potholders.  You can also use items like cotton balls, dental floss and shredded paper.  

• Use a mesh bag or an old feeder that the birds can get the items out easily.  You can also lay the items on a tree or somewhere so they can easily take the items.  Just make sure that you don't tie anything down.  A few other ideas are to put the items in a hanging basket, flower pot or in flower beds.  Wherever the items are place you should also have some bird feeders close by so the birds are attracted to the area where your items are placed.
• Just watch...look around and see if you can find the brightly colored items that you placed outside for the birds in the nests that are created in the spring.

Sidney's 2012 AWANA Grand Prix

It was a nail biter folks!

Sid won 3 times in a row and some were neck and neck.  Her Kleenex box design of a car pulled through though and was a winner.  Over and over she kept going to the top of the track to brace her car and have it positioned just right.

Then, she fell into (bum, bum, bum) the loser's bracket.

(at this point Chris and I thought that she was done racing)

All of a sudden Sidney has appeared at the top of the race track again.  Her car is positioned and braced.  Over and over (at least 8 to 10 more times...at least it seemed like that), Sid kept winning.

Other parents were living vicariously through Sid as she had a huge smile beaming.  (the other parents actually told us this since their childs' cars were not even finishing down the track...but their cars looked pretty cool!)

There were tears of joy tonight.  There were tears of sadness as well.

Quinn was a tired little man tonight and so he and I took off early so he could find his nice comfy bed.  Those were part of the tears for the evening.

It was 8:15pm and the night of excitement at the AWANA Grand Prix was not over.

The award ceremony for design, craftsmanship and winners of the races were next.

After the entire crew came home I was settled into my couch.  Sid had a look of disappointment on her face as she came in with her car.  But, she also had a hand behind her back and a little bit of a smirk on one side of her mouth.  She started to tell me that she didn't win anything but that little glimmer of a smirk kept getting bigger.  I started my "mom" speech about how it was ok not to win every time and that she still did an awesome job tonight.  And then, I realized she was lying!  That stinker.  She pulled a trophy from behind her back.  1st place in Design!!!

(Chris and I were both shocked)

The second set of tears were from our middle child.  Seeing his sister win a trophy for design, a trophy that he dreamed about as he was preparing his car for the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby...well, that was just devastating for his little soul.  We pulled through as a family though and have learned a valuable lesson tonight (two actually):
1.  always talk nice about the other people racing and the other cars that are racing
2.  no matter what the outcome, we always need to support those in our family.  We need to encourage those that are sad when  moment doesn't turn out the way that they expect and we need to take those moments to congratulate those that did win a trophy during the race.

Congrats, Sid!  I think she went to bed with a smile on her face tonight :)  (Micah...well, maybe not so much.)

"I hate my mom" ...says my kids

My kids didn't actually say that they hate me but I am sure that their thoughts were revolving around those words during one of our mornings a few weeks ago.


What was going on in our house that particular morning?  Here are a few details for you to get you up to speed...

• Micah saved up his money and bought a DS (we paid for half for his upcoming birthday).  Sid has Chris' that he used to use.  Now the kids can play some picture thing together on Wi-Fi and some games.
• The kids had to clean their room before they could use the DS.  Chris found Micah playing his DS while he was supposed to clean his room so he lost it for 2 hours.  Then Chris went to work and I got to deal with the torturous 2 hours of question after question of when he could get it back.  
• After the kids played their DS they did play outside, all on their own!  This was my only time of no one staring at me with a pout or frown during our day.
• The kids had 2 things to do before we started making lunch at 11:30am.  1)  Clean off the kitchen table from breakfast time, 2) sweep the floor.  They knew I wouldn't be starting lunch until those were done.  I was very clear about this.
• I waited for my two big kids to clean the table and sweep the floor but instead of doing these things right away they decided to go on the computer and on a DS.  
• I waited, and waited and waited...for 90 minutes!  I would like to think that I was a very patient momma that day and that I gave them enough time.  During this time I fed the day care kids, did the dishwasher and made supper for the night.  Not once did they ask if it was time to eat...they kept on playing.

In the end of those 90 minutes I had one son who was still playing his DS.  Just so you know...he did pass the level he was on.  Whoopdi-do.  (I say that as sarcastic as possible).  He announced this triumphant win just as everyone else in the house was finishing their lunch.  

Keep in mind that the table and the floor still have not been done.

I had a nice chat with my food loving son and explained to him that he missed lunch today.  There were tears, lots of sadness and some hatred for me I am pretty sure.  Food is everything to him.  He plans what we eat the day prior at times and loves to inform me when we are out when it is time to eat...just in case I didn't know.  I was very calm through this wonderful discussion and not a single scream was offered to my son...I was so proud (of myself).  :)  I could have screamed at both my kids but that really wouldn't have had the same effect as how I delivered the news to them that they both lost their DS for the rest of the day.  

Some parents may ask "why?".  Why did I take the DS away for the rest of the day?  Well, see I am a parent that follows through with what I say.  If I tell my kids to do something, I also expect them to do it.  If my kids don't follow through with what I ask, we have some consequences.  Example, clean the table and floor before we eat.  The kids didn't do that.  DS GONE!  Why didn't I just do those 2 jobs?  I could rant on and on about what else I have to do in the house but the fact is, I asked the kids to do those 2 things.  They do these 2 things, or their expectation is, that these 2 things be done after every meal by them.

I am not trying to be an evil mom but I have seen what kids turn into when consequences are not set in front of them and then followed through by the parents.  Parents...did you see those two words in there...FOLLOWED THROUGH!

My time with my little kids is slipping away fast.  A few years ago we had the battles of "putting toys away", "not using the potty", "not hitting our friends" and many different sleep issues with the kids.  I'm not going to say that these are little things in the world of parenting because we had some days and probably weeks where it just seemed like nothing would ever change and our kids would end up living in our basement once they dropped out of highschool because they still didn't want to use the potty.

We had months and months of a specific little boy that didn't want to sleep in his crib or bed.  Who knew that the solution would be to get a bed that was just like his brothers.  He wanted to be big too.  We also had screaming battles with Micah when he had to patch his eye.  Every day was sheer torture for me as I heard him cry and scream as he would bump into things or tear the patch off of his eye.  Did I want to torture him?  No, but I knew that if I didn't follow through with the instructions that the doctor gave us that Micah would lose the sight he had in the eye we were trying to help.  Sidney was no angel either and although she was nice and quiet most of the time, there seemed to be an evil monster inside her when she didn't get her way and she would scream and kick for 30 minutes or more (a few times even longer).

Our current issues are different than those early years and I believe that our family is adjusting, or learning to adjust, to all different types of social, school and time management applications.  Those are nice words for saying that the kids have had issues on the bus and with friends at school, homework seems to be very heavy this year and the responsibility is starting to shift from teacher to student which we are still working on and learning about.  The saying, "there isn't enough time in the day" isn't just coming from Chris and I now, I actually heard Sidney tell me this as she was getting ready for school today.

The future is up in the air.  I can't predict what we will have going on anymore than you telling me what your future will be like.  I am learning more and more about my kids' personalities though and they are truly amazing.  I am also seeing that our teenage years are not far off and that frightens me just a tad (ok, it really freaks me out!).

My hope is that our future will be representative of the values that we have shown our kids.  I know that if I follow through now with what I expect from my kids that I will have kids who will listen to me and respect me in the future.  They may not listen to me all of the time, what teenager does, but I hope that when it comes to the important things that they will know that I will have to follow through but also realize that they can always talk to me about something.

I know a lot of kids (a lot may actually be an understatement) that haven't had parents show them values or rules.  The person who made the rules in the houses they lived in was the child.  I actually have kids that have told their parents (these are bigger kids) that they didn't want to come to my day care because I wouldn't let them play video games while they were here.  Guess who made the rules in that house?  The child.  The response that the parent gave me was, "I feel so bad because I don't get to see him during the day and then he just wants to play his games.  He asks over and over if he can just go home when I pick him up from school so I can be with him and he can play his games.  Isn't it ok if he plays those until he gets picked up?"  That child no longer is at our day care.  I cringe at the thought of what is going to happen to this boy in just a few short years.

A family should work together but the parent should actually parent.  This means all times, not just when it is convenient for the parent.  I had those moments where my 3 year old daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs in Target.  This happened several times.  After a few times she learned that this was not appropriate behavior at a store because I took the time while we were at the store to discipline her.  This may have been disruptive to other customers but should I wonder if I was bothering someone else or should I show my daughter that she had consequences for throwing fits in the aisles when I wouldn't buy her a snack?  (sorry if you were ever at Target on one of those days!  She was really loud too!)

I am still in this journey of being a parent.  I have learned a lot about what to do (and some "not what to do") from my own family, which I am sure we could all say from our own backgrounds.  Another great resource is www.FocusontheFamily.org  If you have a question about parenting there is probably an answer here.  Lots of great reviews on books, movies and games as well for parents to look at before they are purchased for their kids.